Sometimes I just miss these four so, so much.
Mickey where are you looking?
he’s looking at me
Tell them you're a mathematician.
Of course it’s Australian.
You always see list of deadliest toxins, but almost never lists of least fun toxins. I mean, a bite from a taipan snake will kill you dead, but in a brisk and orderly fashion that will unfold from “Ow, bugger, what was that” to “x_x” in about an hour.
The reaction to the gympie gympie stinging tree, however, can last for months, during which time there is precious little they can do for you except pump you full of steroids and strap you down to a table with a brace in your mouth so you don’t do yourself serious injury. In the 1960s, British military scientists studied the tree for its potential as a biological weapon.
The research was apparently abandoned, for reasons which have never been released to the public; but if I had to take a guess, I’d look to the example of civilian research scientist Marina Hurley, who spent three years studying the gympie gympie, and was forced to abandon her research when, despite using every manner of precaution, her exposure to the plant’s neurotoxin nevertheless led to hospitalization. The hairs on the plant which carry the toxin, you see, are regularly shed, and become airborne, at which point they can be inhaled and cause severe nosebleeds, asphyxiation, and anaphylactic shock.
One survivor of a brush with a gympie gympie described the stinging persisting for over two years, made worse whenever he took a cold shower.
Writers, here’s an idea. A grim one, but we can always use those, too.
GOLD STAR FOR EVERYTHING.
|*Man walks into a store and finds employee*|
|Man:||Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!|
|Employee:||Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?|
|Man:||I never filled out an application.|
|Employee:||Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.|
|Man:||No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!|
|Employee:||Well, but that doesn't-|
|Man:||AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!|
|Employee:||But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.|
|Man:||OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!|
|Employee:||Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?|
|Man:||Well no, but what does that matter?|
|Employee:||...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.|
|Man:||Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.|
|Employee:||That...doesn't make any sense.|
|Man:||NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.|
|Man:||Fuck you, slut.|
MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING ON THIS SITE.
sooo you both get burned in the end
you did NOT
HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY MOTHER IN THAT TONE OF PUN
Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
your bird is an asshole